> Two blondes froze to death in > a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter." > > *************** > > Bambi (a blonde) goes to the local novelty shop and finds a > pair of x-ray glasses. She checks them out, and isn't fully > convinced, but as usual, the store assistant comes along and > closes the deal. On her way home, Bambi puts on her new x-ray > glasses and, bingo! She sees everyone in the street naked. She > takes them off for a moment, and everyone has their clothes on. > Puts the glasses back on...everyone is naked! > > "Cool!" As she arrives back home, she is eager to show her new toy to her > husband, but can't find him. She goes up to the bedroom and finds her > husband and the young woman from next door naked in bed. She takes the > glasses off, and the two are still naked. > > She put them back on, and they are still naked. Bambi then says: "Darn, > I just paid fifty bucks for these and they're already broken!" > > ***************** > A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with > the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the > emergency room doctor asked her. > > "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. > > "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by > shooting your finger off?" > > "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I > thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not > shooting myself in the chest." > > "So then?" asked the doctor. > > "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 > to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." > > "So then?" > > "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make > a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the > trigger." > > ***************** > > Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power > outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over > four hours. > > ***************** > > A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really > bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she > took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, > so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow > into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the > blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing > into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and > still nothing happened. > > Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you > doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her > to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. > > The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up > the windows first."