Bubba Ray\'s letter to the Governor Dear Honorable Governor Davis; I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and fine health as you gear up for your impression of a S$M star in November with Bill Simon playing your master. Mr. Governor, I write you today to ask you to consider signing legislation making the act of "nerfing" a legal action on the highways and byways and dirt roads of Kalifornia, People's Republik of. Now Mr. Governor, I know you are asking yourself right now what ole Bubba Ray is talking about, so ole Bubba Ray will break this down like his granddaddy's shotgun. Not an assault shotgun, as that would be violation of the California Penal Code. Mr. Governor, the act of "nerfing" is an artform found greatly in the off-road racing world. A "nerf" is a bump on another motor vehicle to let that vehicle know they are in the way. If you have viewed that great cinematic masterpiece starring Robert Duvall and Tom Cruise, "nerfing" is refered to as "rubbin" in the NASCAR world. Now Mr. Governor, I'm sure you are asking yourself why ole Bubba Ray is asking you why this act should be legal. Well Mr. Governor, sit right back and I'll tell you a tale. Mr. Governor, if you would observe on a daily basis State Route 99, you will find that the highway in question usually resembles a large motorsports complex in the South on a summer Sunday afternoon. But the participants on our state highway apparently was not raised with any manners, common sense or the slight bit of intelligence. Mr. Governor, I offer these two examples up as proof. First, I would like to let you know that these two examples were not seen on different days, but within ten miles of highway on one day. The first example involved a person who was obviously driving a vehicle related to his work. And by the impression he was making on his fellow travelers, he was late. Well Mr. Governor, this person made an unsafe lane change in front of my vehicle and behind a motorcyclist and his ole lady. Well Mr. Governor, I had appropriate separation distance between myself and the motorcyclist and his ole lady. The driver of the mini-van made this move at the same time the said motrocyclist was utilizing his brakes. This almost resulted in the van taking out the motorcyclist. Now if an accident would have happened, the driver of the mini-van would had to have called the WAHAMBULANCE due to the fact that the motorcyclist was traveling with approximately 100 fellow motorcyclists at the time and if a "nerf" was allowed, the driver of the mini-van would of realized the errors of his ways and left the roadway, making it safer. The next example I offer up had to be some poor soul who voted for you in the last election. How can I tell you this? Well let ole Bubba Ray let you know how I know. First off, the said driver was a businessman in a rush, driving a Lexus and acting in such a way to make the impression that he did in fact own the whole roadway and nothing else mattered. Further proof that I have to offer is when the driver made the same moronic move as the driver of the mini-van and ole Bubba Ray gave him the international sign for he was "Numero Uno," he waved at me. Compassion for the little man while walking over him, sounds like he had Democratic leanings to me. Mr. Governor, I know you are pressed for time and I'm sure your talking to Mr. Gore, formulating plans on how to stage "Florida Elections, Part 3" here in Great Kalifornia, People's Republik of in a few weeks, but I urge you Mr. Davis, as one lasting move, legalize "nerfing" in this state so maybe some of these numnutts will realize the sins they have committed. Thank you for your time and good riddance.