Bubba Ray's Toilet Bowl Misadventures

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Feb 22, 2002.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

    Jan 21, 2001
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    Bubba Ray\'s Toilet Bowl Misadventures

    DISCLAIMER: The following story you are about to read is true. Names have not been changed to protect the guilty. This discertation is fairly clean (toilet bowls clean, yeah right!) for all ages, though those who are afflicted with squeamish stomachs are advised, you have been warned, so kick back and relax and "Y'all ain't gonna believe this doody."

    So there I was, just got done making the rounds when the call of nature said, "Bubba Ray, visit the little lads' room." I replied, "I'll be there in just a sec."

    I enter the public restroom, clean even by your momma's standards. I entrada the stall (officer safety always) and position myself properly for the task at hand. For a little insight, I wear an equipment belt that would make Batman, Robin, Aquaman and the Wonder Twins stand in ah and think twice before coming to mess with the superhero from the trailer park. At this time, I had three radios, several sets of keys, handcuffs (no, not for that you pervert Wes!) and a partridge in a pear tree all hooked up somewhere or another. I unhook the high impact plastic buckle and then I heard it. The familiar splash of a fairly large object resonated from the clear water of the forbidden zone. Instantly, the fear hit me like a brick wall out of nowhere. I quickly looked down and low and behold, there it was. One of the brand new radios we had just fielded this week had not passed the flotation test and instantly went down faster than an Ohio class submarine that had the integrity of it's structure exceeded by the forces unimaginable by the common land faring man. I said to myself, "Bubba Ray, y'all got to do something." I replied, "Fry my hide Bubba Ray! It's time to go above and beyond the call of duty."

    So with the spirit of that great American Al Bundy guiding me, I said, "Let's do it." Knowing I didn't have time to head down to the local Piggly Wiggly to grab a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best, I gathered all my courage and focused my will power and in less time than it took Monica to get Bill's pants open, my right hand struck out with the speed of lighting coming out of Valhalla and followed the perilous path that was taken by my fallen comrade.

    I was able to successfully retrieve the radio. It was still breathing after the extrication, but after I opened up the chest to perform emergency surgery and closed it back up, it stopped breathing. Knowing that all was needed now was time, I called for a medevac.

    "Hey Boss. This here's Bubba Ray. That there radio doesn't float like I thought it would." The Boss starts treatment and as he left medevacing my fallen comrade, he reported that he had a heartbeat.

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux,
    Official Colorado K5.com Fantasy Football Choke Artist!<a target="_blank" href=http://community.webshots.com/user/mdntrdr1>http://community.webshots.com/user/mdntrdr1</a>
  2. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

    Jul 23, 2000
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    E-town baby!
    Re: Bubba Ray\'s Toilet Bowl Misadventures

    At least the radio went before you did...[​IMG]


    <font color=green>Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!</font color=green>
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  3. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

    Feb 17, 2000
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    Re: Bubba Ray\'s Toilet Bowl Misadventures

    Damn that was funny! Every time I open a cell phone and find liquid damage I will think of your story LOL.

    Women dig dents and flat paint!
    75 Jimmy, Dollar

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