Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by big83chevy4x4, Jan 3, 2006.
can a guy and a girl be friends if they dated before?
Yes, only if sex was never part of the relationship.
im best friends with 2 girls I've had really strong feelings for, and they had them back. But never went out.
I think its possible.
I dated a chick for 2 yrs, and she is now divorced and we still talk. I consider her one person that I can depend on if something comes up with me . She knows that I am happily married, and she always asks about my wife. Dont know if its sincere or if she is hoping the wife and I divorce.
In most of my personal cases I'd say no. But there's one girl I've know for about 5-6 years now. We tried dating once and nothing came of it. It didn't end badly it just ended but we are still close friends.
Yeap, I have a few female friends that I've had sex with in the past. Never let that be a issue that killed the friendship.
Yeah.. Im friends with a lot of my ex g/fs..
I think it depends on the conditions on which the relationship ended. Obviously you're not gonna want to be a psycho-bitch ex's friend, but if things ended smoothly, yea, it can be done. Hell, I dated one of my best friends on and off for two years, and we're still really close. Course, I did end up in the sack with her last night as "just friends," so I'm not really thinking we're dealing with quite the same situation.
Sometimes, I talk to one ex, despise another, and slept with the third on new years so it's all about the situation.
Well, what a roller coaster it's been.
Broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years in September. Mutual break, things weren't jiving between us anymore. Things went well for a while, and she moved on to date one of my friends. I had trouble with this, and thought at the time I wanted her back, and that I had left "the one" behind. Well, I got over that, and last I heard (about a month ago) they're still together. I've worked really hard to be friends, and put things behind me, but I just can't do it. I was hanging out with her (heh, about a month ago) and her boyfriend, and I just couldn't handle it. Seeing them together brought too many memories back, and the worst thing about it is that they were good memories. I made an exuse, and walked about 10 miles that night, between seeing friends and going home. I talked to her about a week after that, and didnt' explain what I felt. Since then, we haven't talked. She's left me a couple messages, wondering if I was mad, but I'm not. For all my efforts, the hurting never stopped, and the pain never went away.
And another girl situation, I can't really talk about. But suffice it to say, we're friends, nothing more.
Sorry to be mister doom and gloom at the party, hanging out around the dip and bumming everyone out...
the way she makes it sound is she wants us to be best friends. she broke my heart, it took me a while to get over it. she went back to her old boyfriend and didn't tell me. i had to find out from someone else. she just broke up with him and got ahold of me to help her get her stuff back. from what she said, he hit her and one of his friends hit her also. there is no way that im going to let that kinda thing happen to her. thats the main reason im going to help her. shes 5'2" 110 lbs and couldn't bruise me if she tried.
shes been talking about finding another guy, and all i can think is "hes right here". she knows that i still love her and care for her. we never had sex, but now she says that she wanted to, then. i tried everything to get ahold of her when i found out and gave up because she told noone on how to get ahold of her. she hasn't said anything to me in 3 months, but the stuff i gave her she treasures deeply. she still has the teddy bear i gave her for her birthday and said there is nothing that will make her want to get rid of it.
our first date was at a truck pull (her idea), she loves 4wd trucks, racecars, preaty much anything that makes noise with a big motor.
After reading this..
You aren't really asking if it's ok to be friends... you're asking if it's cool to stand in a corner like an obedient dog while someone you care about a) craps on you, and b) ruins their own life at the same time.
If she ran back to her old boyfriend without telling you, that isn't a good basis for any kind of relationship.. sounds like her idea of "being best friends" is she does what she wants while you get to stand there and watch her ruin her life, except when she needs you for something..
Cherish whatever good memories you have, but don't obsess over her. Move on. Otherwise, you will torture yourself waiting for her to change. ( they don't)
If she keeps running back to the a**holes, she has problems you can't solve.
She either puts up with abuse because she feels that's what she's worth, or she tells people she gets abused so she can be the center of attention. ( I've known a few who are like that.)
lying about being a victim is the best way to manipulate the nice guys she knows ( and her female friends ) into doing things for her, with no obligation to reciprocate on her part.
If she really is getting pounded, wait and see what she does on her own to rectify the situation.The proper response to physical abuse is to for her to walk out the door, and press charges. Anything else means she's contemplating going back to him.
I'd ask to see the bruises, before I dedicated my life to this person, if I were you. She sounds like a user, and they come in the nicest, prettiest packages..
Make yourself happy - start with someone emotionally healthy to begin with. I'm sorry to sound like a cold, unfeeling bast**d, but I wish I had back the two plus years I wasted on a girl in the same situation.. In fact, your post could've been written by me.
If you want the story, PM me.
I answered "yes" but I agree with tom after reading your last post. the question asked is really not the question you want answered.
Yes, it is possible. I am friends with a few of my ex boyfriends. In my situation, much time had passed from end of relationship to friendship. Sometimes it's not easy to "just be friends" with someone that you were intimate with, but it can be done after both parties have moved on from the relationship.
Sounds like this is not your situation and I'll agree with what was said above. It seems like she wants you waiting in the wings "just in case". That is not best friends... that's using you.
What'd Chris Rock say?...A woman's paternal friend is like a dick in a glass case. In the case of an emergency she breaks the glass and uses it.
Maybe not the exact wording but it was something to that effect. Sorry to be crude but I've seen in happen quite a bit.
i voted for "sometimes".... its possible, but I certainly wouldn't count on it.
Can you say **** buddies????
I voted no, but I do know there are situations where guys and girls are strictly friends. My opinion is there are many guys and girls out there that are friends, but one of them has "more" feelings than the other..hence the reason for being friends. Other than that yes there are co-workers that are oppositte sex, and friends spouses, but you know them because of something else. I just don't think guys and girls become friends just for the friendship...somebody is at least thinking maybe there is more
My best friend in the world is the girl I went out with in high school for a few years after. We know we can count on each other whenever something happens, and can talk about anything. THough if we lived closer we would probably be dating again...
Man, you guys are so black and white. One of my dearest friends in the world is a guy and we have never dated or anything else. We have been very close friends for more than 20 years. We have always had a great time partying and hanging out. I go to his parent's house for holidays and am very good friends with his sister (who I only became friends with because of her brother). He moved to Wisconsin almost 2 years ago and whenever he comes to visit, he stays with me and sleeps in my spare bedroom. My boyfriend and he are friends now and it's all good. Maybe you guys could try to be a little more open minded and quit thinking with your little heads for a change
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