So I leave the office for lunch and get in the Tahoe, ready to go make a deposit at the bank. I look for my smokes and their not here, hmmmm, I know I left them in the console. I go back into the office and check around, ask if anyones just jerking with me. Nope. I get back in the truck and go to the bank, look in the console again and lo and behold! My entire wallet is gone. I call the wife to make sure I didn't leave it home (even though I know I didn't) find it's not there, and then get the popo on the line. Make a report, call the credit card companies and cancel both personal and business Amex, call my bank of find that the chode wasn't happy with the $50 bucks (and the more than likely winning lotto ticket!! ), but has already started a spree on my Platinum corp. card. Now, you would think (wouldn't you?) that the kind of scrote that would steal in broad daylight would look a certain way that would mean he'd probably get ID'd when trying to use a card like that. Not the case, a gift shop, a convenience store and a head shop all within 3 blocks of my office accept the card. The bank gives me the amounts, locations and times, freezes the card and reverses the charges. I should be content right? Wrong, that's just not me. I get a pen a paper and head on out to the stores, knowing that the couple hundy in charges isn't exactly gonna have the local Johnny Law beatin' street ASAP. I go to the first one, and old "Les" tells me "Why sure Mr., I remember him, he was a nice youg black guy that told me his Daddy was a Dr. at the hospital". F*cking-A right Les. There are only 15 or so black people in this town, not one a Dr. at the hospital, and if he was that young WTF is he doing with a Corp. card. Oh, and by the way Les, since I don't sign any of my cards, did you ID him??? "Well no son, but I did get his phone number" Geez Les, I think you cracked the case! He sure wouldn't have given a nice old fartknocker like you a fake number would he??? I wish Les a merry f*cking life after getting a copy of the receipt (seems I bought him a nifty Broncos sweatshirt and Avalanche cap) and head on down to the next store, a Conoco, she seems nice enough but of course no cameras in the place, and she's had so many customers she doesn't give a crap. "Honey I don't even know if they're black, orange or green, I just give 'em what they want and ring 'em up." Oh well, at least she's honest. She gives me a receipt, looks like I've now treated him to some junk food and sodas, $30 worth of Lotto tickets (haha! he doesn't know there's a $20 million dollar winner in my wallet yet!!! ) and $10 cash (guess the $50 went fast). I call a friend of mine (Dep. Sheriff) just for some advice, and he says sure, go ahead and get all the info you can, the officer will appreciate it. I was just worried I'd get something on the guy and then they'd tell they can't use it 'cause I'm a civilian or something. Head on over to store #3 "Himalayan Feelings" great, a head shop. Store's closed but I can still smell the incense. So I drive around for a while, looking for a black guy with a Broncos sweatshirt, Av's cap, and a big fat belly (you know, from the junkfood) and maybe a Bob Marley flag or "legalize it" bumper sticker. I get back to the office and call Officer Kramer (pretty nice guy and called me back promptly), and sure enough, he's floored and thrilled that I did some footwork on it. I tell him that I just realized we may have a little chance to nab this model citizen. There is a $50 gift certificate in my wallet that a client gave me to a Flyshop also downtown. I call the flyshop and give them a heads-up that Jo-Jo dancer may be coming in to blow some more of my money, and that he's not; shall we say, their typical flyfisherman client. So the flyshop is keeping an eye open for me and have Officer Kramer and my cell #'s. That's as far as this saga has gotten so far today, the Himalaya Head shop is supposed to reopen here @ 4PM so off I go to try and get some info out of some more than likely long haired loser who smells like patchouli. Wish me luck boys!!!!