EVER WONDER where we are headed...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Dec 10, 2004.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Jun 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Salem, Or.
    • why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    • why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    • why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
    • why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows?
    • why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemon?
    • why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
    • who tastes dog food when it has a "New & Improved" flavor?
    • why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
    • why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    • why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
    • why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    • if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?

    In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    • On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
    • On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
    • On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be ??)
    • On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but it's "just" a suggestion).
    • On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well....duh, a bit late, huh)!
    • On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought???...)
    • On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me time?)
    • On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
    • On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning. May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???...)
    • On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to ? )
    • On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help meon this. I'm a bit curious.)
    • On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)
    • On an American Airlines packt of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, un...fly Delta?)
  2. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

    Jan 15, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Chandler, AZ
    I would reply with a laughing smilie but I dont have any. O'well, this is hilarious.
  3. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

    Dec 3, 2003
    Likes Received:
    I liek that, I'm going to save that.
    Thanks for sharing!!

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