Discussion in '1973-1991 K5 Blazer | Truck | Suburban' started by Wheels, Oct 27, 2000.

  1. Wheels

    Wheels 1/2 ton status

    Aug 18, 2000
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    Native Floridian living in Oklahoma, USA
    After 11 grueling months and several dozen skinned knuckles, alot of cussin' and discussion, the K5 has moved out of the shop in the back yard and up to the #1 4-wheeling vehicle. The Z-71 is going to get a well deserved break for a while. There were countless lessons that were learned the hard way. Here are a few examples:

    Drill Press - A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against the freshly painted part that you were drying.

    E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor - A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

    Electric Hand Drill - Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

    HEI - GM calls it their High Energy Ignition, I believe that it is derived from the sound you make when you grab a spark plug wire as the engine is running.

    Hacksaw - One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

    Hammer - Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object you are trying to hit.

    Mechanic's Knife - Used to open and slice through the contents of a cardboard box. Works particularly well on boxes containing seats and leather jackets.

    Oxy-acetylene Torch - Used almost entirely for lighting on fire various flammable objects in your garage.

    Pliers - Used to round off bolt heads.

    Snap-On Gasket Scraper - Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog poop off your shoes.

    Timing Light - A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease build up and oil leaks.

    Vise-Grips - Also used for rounding off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can effectively transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

    Wire Wheel - Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes finger whorls and hard-earned calluses in about the time it takes you to say "Ouch..."

    The Wheels is back to K-5ing.
  2. NH77Jimmy

    NH77Jimmy Registered Member

    Oct 25, 2000
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    Manchester, NH
    Congratulations! Your definitions were pretty amusing. Reminded me of a few backyard experiences of my own.

  3. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

    Jul 23, 2000
    Likes Received:
    E-town baby!
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG] LMAO! Sounds like an average weekends work at my house!!
    Still laughing!



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