For those with dogs...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Capman2k, Apr 10, 2002.

  1. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

    Jun 22, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Sorry if it's a little hard to read, but I don't want to take out the >'s /forums/images/icons/cool.gif

    > >You have to read this. Just think of your dog, either past or
    > present,
    > >and imagine him or her thinking these things,
    > >
    > >
    > >Things I must remember as a dog,,,,,
    > >
    > >1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
    > >2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under
    > the
    > >coffee table.
    > >3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or
    > under the
    > >bed.
    > >4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
    > house.
    > >5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it or after they
    > throw
    > >it up.
    > >6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
    > carpet in
    > >the house when I am about to get sick.
    > >7. I will not throw up in the car.
    > >8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because
    > I
    > >like the way they smell.
    > >9. "Kitty box crunchies," although they are tasty, are not food.
    > >10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit
    > them in
    > >the backyard after processing.
    > >11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
    > >12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them
    > >13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or
    > my
    > >people will think I am hemorrhaging.
    > >14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled
    > down
    > >when it's raining outside.
    > >15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one
    > on TV.
    > >
    > >16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the
    > backyard
    > >with it.
    > >17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom and dad's laps.
    > >18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
    > >19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for mom's
    > >driver's license and car registration.
    > >20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when he's on
    > the
    > >toilet.
    > >21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom and
    > then
    > >have a string hanging out of my butt.
    > >22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after just
    > >getting a bath.
    > >23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way
    > of
    > >saying hello.
    > >24. I will not hump on any person's leg as if it was the right thing
    > to
    > >do.
    > >25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow
    > next to
    > >their head.
    > >26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
    > across
    > >the carpet.
    > >27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just
    > because
    > >the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
    > >28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
    > crotch
    > >when company is over.
    > >29. Just because all the other dogs in the neighborhood are barking,
    > >doesn't mean I have to join in.
    > >30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he makes
    > that
    > >noise, it's usually not a good thing.
    > >
  2. Hossbaby50

    Hossbaby50 3/4 ton status

    Sep 1, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Peoria, AZ
    this was posted awhile back, but it is still funny. "Cat box crunchies" lol
  3. potato76

    potato76 1/2 ton status

    Mar 21, 2002
    Likes Received:
    phoenix, AZ
    my dog does at least ten of those things /forums/images/icons/smile.gif

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