Are you tired of all those mushy "friend" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here's a "friendship" poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself! Friend.... When you are sad,....I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry son of a bitch who made you sad. When you are blue,....I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you. When you smile,....I'll know you finally got laid. When you are scared,....I will rag on you about it every chance I get. When you are worried,....I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit your stupid whining. When you are confused,....I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. When you are sick,....stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have. When you fall,....I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath, I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend! Send this poem to your closest friends or else you will have bad luck and go to hell and get depressed because you realize you only have 2 friends, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway. P.S. - A friend will help you move..... A really good friend will help you move a body.