On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr.. Jones, at your cervix." At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your Plumber.." In a dry cleaners window "Drop your pants here and you'll receive prompt attention." Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." On a window washers truck in Chicago: A racetrack is a place where windows clean people. At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place." On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills." And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."