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Hallmark Cards that never made it.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 79Stomper, Aug 20, 2004.

  1. 79Stomper

    79Stomper 1/2 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

    Mar 4, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Forest, VA
    1. So your daughter's a hooker,

    and it spoiled your day.

    Look at the bright side,

    it's really good pay.

    2. My tire was thumping.

    I thought it was flat.

    When I looked at the tire...

    I noticed your cat. Sorry!

    3. Heard your wife left you,

    How upset you must be.

    But don't fret about it...

    She moved in with me.

    4. Looking back over the years

    that we've been together,

    I can't help but wonder?

    What the hell was I thinking?

    5. Congratulations on your wedding day!

    Too bad no one likes your husband.

    6. How could two people as beautiful as you...

    Have such an ugly baby?

    7. I've always wanted to have someone to hold,

    someone to love.

    After having met you ...

    I've changed my mind.

    8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...

    I never believed in Hell till I met you.

    9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

    That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    10. Congratulations on your promotion.

    Before you go ... would you like to take this

    knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

    11. Someday I hope to get married. But not to you.

    12. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...

    Almost Lifelike!

    13. When we were together,

    you always said you'd die for me.

    Now that we've broken up,

    I think it's time you kept your promise.

    14. We have been friends for a very long time ... what say

    we stop?

    17. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.

    So we're having you put to sleep

    18. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

    (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)

    I am from Kentucky and found the last one to be hilarious.
  2. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

    Dec 3, 2003
    Likes Received:
    LMAO those are halaruous! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

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