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Discussion in 'Rocky Mountain Region' started by Cricket, Dec 31, 2006.
Happy New Year dirtbags.
Same to you B...face
Oh by the way "cricket" my son-in-law will be sending you a message very soon. He is really mad at you!!
Cricket is in trouuubbbbbllleee!! ha ha haha
Happy New Years COCrew freaky freaks!
Damn you Cricket!!!
Awright bug-boy, yer on my list now! I’m supposed to be an influence on my precious little precocious nephew, but NO, there seems to be a little voice of bad conscience whispering in his ear...
We go to the train station last night to pick up MrK5, MrsK5 and my precious nephews. Train rolls in (good thing too 'cause I was about to leave their arses there, it was too damn cold), and the K5 family unloads... Hugs all around and we waits for the bags.
Here's where your unconscionable influence on little buddy rears it's ugly head. Standing there on the siding, my little buddy, Gilligan to my Skipper, Pinky to my Brain, Robin to my Batman turns around with no warning and kicks me right square in the shins!!! I look at him and say "Why buddy? Why?"
What does he say? What is the excuse? What was my buddy thinking, booting Uncle Cyco-Don right square in the jimmies (or at least in the ankle... hey, he's not that tall yet)? What could have possessed him to whomp his favorite uncle with no provocation? As I look down at him with tearful, hurt eyes and ask "Why’d you do that buddy? Where did you learn that?"
He looks up right square in my eye, gives me an evil little disingenuous grin and says "Jiminy-James told me to!"
Strike 1. Keep count.
Here we are, first thing this morning, our Family Christmas Part Deax. My little buddy’s stocking is full (apparently Santa must have not noticed his little ‘lapse’ yesterday. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!), and he’s his smiling laughing self. I come down to the living room too behold the wonders that are the Riley family Christmas (and for coffee of course), when what to my aching shins should appear, but a demented little elfling turning on me with blood in his eye and mayhem in his heart. Out of nowhere, he turns to me and goes for another 70yard field goal... Right square in my already bruised shin. And smiling. Like its the funniest thing on the planet. I swear I saw horns grow from his head, a barbed tail sprout and fire blaze up in his eyes. The stink of brimstone was in the air (but that may have come from his arse… he is his fathers son…).
I’m absolutely aghast… I can’t even concept of this transformation. How could my sidekick have been so corrupted?
What you don’t understand is that this was MY job dammit!!! THATS STRIKE 3!!! How am I supposed to be the fun uncle Cyco-Don, teaching him all sorts of bad, evil little things to make his fathers life hell, when SOMEBODY BEATS ME TO IT??? You usurper! I cry foul!!! It was supposed to be MY name on his lips when he gets his fanny paddled for being a butt-rocket. It’s supposed to be ME giving him his first clandestine sips off my beer. I was destined to take him to the titty-bar for his first lap dance, yet here you are, teaching him the roots of all his future evil… Ya little weasel!!! That’s my privilege and right, you Judas!!!
That’s it. I’m stepping this up a notch. Before this weekend is over, I’m certain Liam will have a new trick in his arsenal. I’m fairly sure that he can learn to poke holes in gas tanks, and cut brake lines on vehicles that never get out of the driveway… PLENTY of time, and he’s still short enough to fit under street trucks. Wanna go to the hardware store for a new sharp screwdriver little buddy? Uncle Don is ready when you are… Isn’t that a pretty silver-grey truck… want to practice up for your good friend Jiminy? Crickets aren’t your friends… Uncle Cyco-Don is your friend…
Leanintree (hijacking Fred2mihi’s account)
See "cricket" I told you you were in big trouble!!!!!!!!!
Hey Don, ask Liam to show you "The Pinch".
By the way Scott, thank you for my newfound blindness.
"cricket" "cricket" here you were trying be nice wishing everyone a happy new year and it went to pot. Don and I are setting here contemplating shaving also, as a joke. Man are we bored, wish I could go wheelin'!!!!
I am the epitomy of the "Nice Guy", at least while my wife is looking. I put up my convict picture so you could laugh yourself to sleep.
Merry New Year in deed. See ya'll soon and keep it safe and fun.
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