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I'm going to start an activist group...

Capman2k

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I\'m going to start an activist group...

So I was thinking today at work... We waste too much metal in this country... Look at how many staples are just used every day in just one office... Look at all the cars in junk yards... Sure, we need some metal for stuff, but come ON, can't people just use GLUE or re-use paperclips?

And look at the vehicles of today, plastic, plastic, PLASTIC... And do you know why? I'll tell you why, good sirs and ladies of CK5. It's because of excessive staple abuse. Because people just use staples like they're nothing thinking that metal grows on trees in Albequerque, this planet is in a crisis state. We are quickly running out of metal and soon you people will realize what you have taken for granted all your lives. The wonders of METAL.

I declare unto thee... ALL OF THEE... We must form an organization. And organization hell bent on saving the world from its destructive ways of stapling stuff. We shall be named American People Against The Use Of Excessive And Unneeded Stapling Which Results In The Wasting Of Billions Of Pounds Of Metal Per Day (APATUOEAUSWRITWOBOPOMPD)!

Now... With my fellow members of APATUOEAUSWRITWOBOPOMPD, I shall proclaim that from this day forth, things will change. I will stop at nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, to protect Earth's most precious resource: whatever the heck kind of metal staples are made from.

So, next time you're out and about and you run across a staple lying on the ground, crying out in vain to all of the mindless bastards who step upon it saying "It's just a staple," stop. Pick up the poor staple. Bring it straight to me. I will be setting up a shelter for abused staples. And one day, myself, my staple collection, and elite members of APATUOEAUSWRITWOBOPOMPD will walk this Earth knowing that metal is abundant. We will go to the parks and the fountains will be spurting out liquified silver, and it will rain pure gold from the skies. That, my friends, is the day I will be victorious.

thank you for reading.
 

mountainexplorer

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Re: I\'m going to start an activist group...

No kidding! You wouldn't believe the amount of staples and paper clips that get wasted and thrown out every day. I clean an insurance building 4 nights a week. I'm always having to clean off the magnet on the front of the vacuum.
 

gm4x

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Re: I\'m going to start an activist group...

The first (and only) reply to reading your heartfelt and overwhelmingly compassionate letter of concern of the oughtright, not to mention BLATANT abuse of the staple, yes the mighty staple, friend to all, willing to lay down it's life in the line of duty, waiting paitently inline with it's brothers in the trough of the machine, as it lays in wait to launch the unsuspecting staple to it's demise....all I can say to you my good sir, is

YOU AIN'T RIGHT IN THE MELON!!

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