A guy is playing a round of golf out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Screaming in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he can manage, he takes himself to the doctor. He asks "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiance is still a virgin in every way." The doctor tells him, "Your testicles are fine, but I'll have to put your penis in a splint, until it heals, to keep it straight but it should be okay by next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together, an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her and they go on their honeymoon. That night in the hotel room she rips open her blouse to reveal a beautiful pair of breasts. This was the first time he saw them. She says, "You're the first, no one has ever touched these breasts." Next she takes off her panties and says, "You're the first, no one has ever touched me here." He immediately drops his pants and replies . . . . . . . Look at this, it's still in the CRATE.