so its been a little while since i got out of the hospital. And honestly I physically feel better than i have in well over a year. I met a great couple that have opened up their house to me. Keep me well fed, warm, and constantly make sure i'm "ok". and they don't even charge me rent. for the most part things are going good for me for once. so why do i feel so.....gray? i no longer watch tv, for it makes me sad. I used to love music, but i no longer listen to music anymore because it to makes me sad. the couple i am staying with wanted to take me out to a moive last night. but i didn't go because the thought of going to see a movie made me sad. Even the blazer, dare i say, makes me sad. I don't like being in it anymore. honestly i dont like even looking at it. i have gotten to the point that i don't even like cars any more. a friend of the couple that i'm staying with, came over last night and had a porsche. it was a real nice looking one. shinney black..asked me if i wanted the keys and take it for a spin...what did i say?..."nah, thats ok" so what gives? things are going good, i'm relativly healthy. i feel good. i have everything that i need. so why is everything making me sad? why dont i want to do anything? why do i avoid everything? i don't know, i'm just rambling on here. it just doesn't make any sense to me..