Just when you thought you were SMOOOOOTH...*Possibly offensive language!*

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Swanson52, Aug 1, 2002.

  1. Swanson52

    Swanson52 1/2 ton status

    Mar 27, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Centennial, CO
    Try some of these babies out....
    Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
    Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
    Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
    Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
    Do you want to see something swell?
    Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
    Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
    Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
    Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
    I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
    I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
    I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
    I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
    My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
    No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
    Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
    Pardon me, are you in heat?!
    Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
    So, you're a girl huh?
    Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
    Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
    Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.
    You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
    You make my software turn to hardware!
    You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
    To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well:"Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
    If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
    Pardon me, have you seen my missing nobel prize around here anywhere?
    Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
    Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
    Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
    My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
    Hi... would you [censored] me? I'd [censored] me, I'd [censored] me real hard!!
    Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
    There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
    Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
    When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsle hockey.
    Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
    They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
    Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick?
    Which one of the Spice girls are you?
    Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
    Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your tits.
    Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
    (Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Ma ma!
    This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
    Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
    Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
    My love for you is like diaharrea, I just can't hold it in
    Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
    I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
    Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
    I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
    Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularily nice weather."
    My love for you is like diarehha. I can't hold it in.
    Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
    Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
    I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
  2. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

    Jun 7, 2000
    Likes Received:
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"

    [/ QUOTE ]
    LOL!.. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

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