Kids are funny (some language may be objectionable for some)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Leadfoot, Jul 9, 2002.

  1. Leadfoot

    Leadfoot 1/2 ton status Premium Member

    Nov 28, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Western Massachusetts
    A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
    Five minutes later....Da-ad....I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?
    No. You had your chance. Lights out.
    Five minutes later: Daaaaad.....WHAT?
    I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??
    I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!
    Five minutes later......Daaaa-aaaad.....WHAT!
    When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?

    An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
    asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over
    and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the
    door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

    When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three-year-old came
    into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She
    said, Mommy, you are getting fat! I replied, Yes, honey, remember Mommy has
    a baby growing in her tummy. I know, she replied, but what's growing in
    your butt?

    A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a dead cat. She asked,
    "How do you know that it was dead?" "Because I pissed in its ear, and it
    didn't move," answered the child innocently." "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher
    exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and
    went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

    It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
    sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was
    wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned
    over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The
    little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes,
    and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

    A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus
    five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is
    nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you
    doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And
    this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he
    answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are
    you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are
    learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two
    plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing,
    she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is
  2. Twiz

    Twiz 1/2 ton status

    Mar 8, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Clearfield Ut.
    I could actualy see some kid doing acouple of those-
  3. delta9blazer

    delta9blazer 1/2 ton status

    Feb 17, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Northern California, over by 7-11

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