The Lawyer's Surgery As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure." The New Arrivals The Pope and a lawyer are on the elevator to heaven. When they arrive at the gates, there's a mad rush of angels, saints, and other holy people on their way to greet them. When they arrive, they pick the lawyer up on their shoulders and carry him off cheering hysterically. The Pope is deeply saddened. St. Peter sees this, so he goes over to him and says, "Don't feel bad. We get popes in here all the time, it's not every day we get a lawyer."