# Little Billy (formerly Little Johnny) - no worky no kiddies

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jarheadk5, Aug 6, 2004.

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LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER

Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Billy replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f**kin' business!!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Billy.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Little Billy says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH

Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f**kin' difference?" asks the father?
"That's what I said!"

LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH

Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Billy says " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Billy , that's a mouthful."
Little Billy says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on Little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on Little Billy.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f**kin' beautiful!"

2. ### ramjet gmcCK5 StaffStaff MemberModeratorGMOTM Winner

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3. ### Poohbair1/2 ton status

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God I love Little Billy/Little Johnny jokes.... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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5. ### Stickseler3/4 ton status

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6. ### thezentree3/4 ton status

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lmfao!!!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

7. ### 84gmcjimmy1 ton status

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thats halarious /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

8. ### uao851/2 ton status

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I almost fell of my chair....... /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

9. ### lifethroughdeath1/2 ton status

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Awesome /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

10. ### bigcountryk51/2 ton status

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i haven't been able to laugh for a couple days thanks man i needed that /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

11. ### 84gmcjimmy1 ton status

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is there anymore? I like these /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

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I pick &amp; choose the good ones that I get in email &amp; post them here. I don't bother with the crappy ones...

13. ### 84gmcjimmy1 ton status

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Make sure you keep posting the good ones then! Those were [darn] funny!

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15. ### Resurrection_Joe1 ton status

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[ QUOTE ]
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Killing animals! And a teacher said it? OH NOEEEEEES! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

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Definitely not a teacher in California... I wonder how they teach kids these days about how the white man decimated the wild buffalo herds with muzzle-loaders - oh wait... they don't. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

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17. ### 84gmcjimmy1 ton status

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LOL those are halarious! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

18. ### FatBoyBlazer1/2 ton status

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thats good stuff /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

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