Little bit of airline humor!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by dontoe, Mar 6, 2005.

  1. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

    May 7, 2004
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    Hickory, N.C.
    Overheard pilot/air traffic controller conversations

    The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a
    short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking
    location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was
    with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following
    exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call
    sign Speedbird 206."

    Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

    Ground: "Speedbird 206, taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

    The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

    Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

    Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

    Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been
    to Frankfurt before?"

    Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944 -- but I didn't land."

    O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 239 heavy, your traffic is a
    Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."

    United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little
    Fokker in sight."


    A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the

    Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

    Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."

    Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in
    Germany. Why must I speak English?"

    Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):

    "Because you lost the bloody war."
  2. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

    Jul 23, 2000
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    E-town baby!
  3. unclematty

    unclematty 1/2 ton status

    Jan 24, 2003
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    SLC UT
    I'll have to print these off to show to my aviation maintenance class! Too funny!!
  4. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

    Mar 6, 2000
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    Hey unclematty, are you an instructor or a student?!

    That would be funny as all hell to actually hear on the radio.

    The radios on the CH-53E aren't the best of performers, so sometimes it takes a couple calls to an agency to get through to them. We had a pilot who just loved to say "Can you hear me now?" whenever an agency would ask us to repeat a call...
    Then there was our squadron's callsign. It's "Hustler", and it's not an easy word to distinguish over a radio. So usually after the third repeat of our callsign and the agency still couldn't figure it out, our pilots would say "Hustler, just like the magazine". Other than a "MAYDAY" call, I've never heard anything said on the radio that created the instant 5-second silence that that did. Response: "Oh, uhhh, okay, uhhh, Hustler 40x, blah blah blah..." Best use of that tactic was working with the Navy one time; the ship we were working with had the callsign "Penthouse". The Air Boss and our pilots were going for about 5 minutes over what the other ships' callsigns should be, to more closely align with our two. All of us on the aircrew were brainstorming as much as we could to come up with names of skin mags...

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