Meeting Farts

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by B_to_C, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. B_to_C

    B_to_C 1/2 ton status Author

    Jan 15, 2003
    Likes Received:
    In Government Housing
    What's your favorite story?

    Mine happened tonight. I work at Wild Oats and Whole Foods is in the process of buying our company so some corporate HR people came out to tell us as little as possible about what could happen if the merger goes through. The jist of the meeting was "if we decide your store is not financially viable we will close it...and you will be pretty screwed. But if we decide to keep it open you'll be pretty alright." The only thing that annoyed me is that they said people in identical positions at Whole foods make more than us at Wild oats...but post merger our wages would not change :screwy::rolleyes:

    On to the fart story!

    In a moment of silence while the speaker was taking a sip of water the coworker sitting DIRECTLY NEXT to me let out an incredibly loud, somewhat long lasting fart. I swear I might have felt the rumble in my was that bad. I immidietly had to hold my lip so I wouldn't burst out laughing at the top of my lungs. Every ten seconds I would get to the absolute verge of blurting out laughing....then he let's out another short one! (just as loud!) I almost had to leave....I knew if I started laughing I wouldn't be able to stop. :haha:Luckily I made it through.
  2. BoondocK5

    BoondocK5 1 ton status Author

    May 13, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Salt Lake City, Utah

    A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues.

    "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

    Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

    Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

    When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

    When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

    "Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks.
    He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"

    You're laughing aren't you...I know you are!!!

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