My Mother Taught Me.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BurbLover, May 11, 2006.

  1. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

    Jul 31, 2001
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    SW Missouri
    My mother taught me.....

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    - " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    - "If you fall out of that swing and break y our neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    - "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    - "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    - "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    - "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
  2. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

    Jul 22, 2001
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    Mesa , Arizona USA
    The good ol days . I gotta go get her something , running out of time .
  3. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

    Jul 31, 2001
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    SW Missouri
    Shipped the package out on Tuesday to NY. Her birthady is actually tomorrow, so I ship two things & two cards in the same package.:doah:
  4. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

    May 26, 2003
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    dearborn heights, Michigan
    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
  5. Cmoe

    Cmoe 1/2 ton status

    Feb 19, 2000
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    You forgot about WORK
    "Don't just sit on the coach and watch TV, go out and play or I'll find something for you to do!"

    When it really hits home is when you get on your kids about something and you think about it... "Thats what my folk would have told me..." "I sound like my ___..." or "I grew up to be my dad...."
  6. sarasotausmc

    sarasotausmc 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Dec 16, 2003
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    Jacksonville NC
    F!!!! I forgot. Thanks. Another thing my wife will never know about the benefits of membership on CK5.

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