Allright gentlemen, it's my turn to ask for..... relationship advice. I'm welcoming opinions and advice (the subject of this lurks on this board, so try to maintain some respect ) Background info: I've been dating Heather for over a year. When we were first dating I was in a training class, I had a huge amount of free time. I spent almost all my time either with her, or at her father's (Jerry) shop. Shortly after I finished the training class (took 4 months for the class), a total of 6 months after we started dating I deployed for the desert. Now for the issues: Prior to deploying, I broke the transmission in my K5 and had no personal transportation. Jerry was kind enough to let me drive a car they just acquired from an auction for a couple weeks (2003 cavalier). This car had a brand new engine (warranty) put in it. Prior to me borrowing the vehicle, his wife (Brenda) commented that the last person they let drive one of their vehicles returned it with a full tank of gas, an oil change, and a plethora of mountain dew (Jerry loves mountain dew). No biggie. I used to car to run errands before I deployed, and to take Heather out a few times. A couple days prior to me leaving, I filled it up with gas, bought an oil filter and 5 quarts of Mobil 1 (it wasn't due for an oil change yet), washed and detailed the car, and had plenty of Dew in the trunk. Fast foward to me returning home from my deployment. I spent about a month in solitude, not really going out with anyone. I find out through Heather that Jerry felt used about me borrowing the car. Evidently he was expecting me to be up at the shop working on my project car the couple weeks before I deployed. Now that I was back from deployment and fully qualified for my job, I no longer had training classes to attend. Enter long shifts and changing schedules. The longest I was able to maintain working on one shift was about three weeks. We were on "8+4 hour shifts" which translates into 12 hour shifts unless there was absolutely no work to do. I R&R'ed the transmission/tcase in the K5, sold it, and bought a T-10 blazer for a DD. Throughout this whole time, from September until I just took leave in the beginning of February, I was changing shifts a lot, working 12+ hours days, with weekend duty sporradically in between. I didn't hav etime for much during the week. I think I went up to the shop a whole 5 times or so. Now as a result of this; Heather's parents think I'm a pathological liar, I'm untrustworthy, a lush, and am "not good enough" for her. To complicate things, her parents know of an instance when Heather walked in my room while I had one of those "Beaver oil documentaries" on. This now results in their assumption that I will be unfaithful in my relationships. Any time I'm over at their house, they act nice to me. I hear otherwise just about every couple days from Heather. They're pretty much encouraging her to ditch me and look for someone more suited to their tastes. A few months ago I decided I would play their game. For a couple weeks when I made the time, I went up to the shop. I didn't work on my car, but instead helped put together a huge shelving unit, and put some heavy ass boxes on them. Which included boxes on the topmost shelf, at least 20 feet up. Changed light bulbs on the ceiling of the shop (climbing ladders even higher). Helped move cars around the lot. I stopped by their house afterwards to socialize some even. Still heard about the negative comments on the phone afterwards. I'm a nice guy, but I'm not about to bend over backwards to please someone's parents. I'm not dating them, I have no love interest with them. My solution to this problem, or rather what I think the cause of the problem is; Heather likes to tell her mom everything that happens between us (yes, everything). And likewise, she tells me everything that happens between her parents. What I'm thinking of suggesting to her (to better our situation) is to not be so open about everything. I've got a fairly open relationship with my parents, and with Heather. However, I don't feel the need to tell my parents every little detail about my relationships. Nor do I tell Heather everything my parents might say about her at one time or another. In my opinion sometimes a little discretion is good for all parties involved. Thoughts, comments, suggestions? This stuff with Heather's parents fequently causes her to get quite upset, I get to hear her crying over the phone or see it in person. That's the thing that bothers me most. I could honestly care less what others say about me, but when it obviously hurts someone I love and damages my relationship with them I take an issue to it.