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Now, finally, you can learn how to speak and appear "hip" and "with-it"

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by FL84K5, Feb 4, 2003.

  1. FL84K5

    FL84K5 1/2 ton status

    Aug 19, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Sarasota, FL
    Now, finally, you can learn how to speak and appear \"hip\" and \"with-it\"

    Frank Lingua, president and CEO of Dissembling
    Associates, is the nation's leading purveyor of
    buzzwords, catch phrases and clichés for people too busy to speak in plain English. Business Finance contributing editor Dan Danbom interviewed Lingua in his New York City office.

    Danbom: Is being a cliché expert a full-time job?
    Lingua: Bottom line is I have a full plate 24/7.

    Danbom: Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly
    endless supply of clichés that spew from business?
    Lingua: Some days, I don't have the bandwidth. It's like drinking from a fire hydrant.

    Danbom: So it's difficult?
    Lingua: Harder than nailing Jell-O to the wall.

    Danbom: Where do most clichés come from?
    Lingua: Stakeholders push the envelope until it's
    outside the box.

    Danbom: How do you track them once they've been
    Lingua: It's like herding cats.

    Danbom: Can you predict whether a phrase is going to become a cliché?
    Lingua: Yes. I skate to where the puck's going to be. Because if you aren't the lead dog, you're not
    providing a customer-centric proactive solution.

    Danbom: Give us a new buzzword that we'll be hearing ad nauseam.
    Lingua: "Enronitis" could be a next-generation player.

    Danbom: Do people understand your role as a cliché
    Lingua: No, they can't get their arms around that. But they aren't incented to.

    Danbom: How do people know you're a cliché expert?
    Lingua: I walk the walk and talk the talk.

    Danbom: Did incomprehensibility come naturally to you?
    Lingua: I wasn't wired that way, but it became
    mission-critical as I strategically focused on my
    go-forward plan.

    Danbom: What did you do to develop this talent?
    Lingua: It's not rocket science. It's not brain
    surgery. When you drill down to the granular level, it's just basic blocking and tackling.

    Danbom: How do you know if you're successful in your work?
    Lingua: At the end of the day, it's all about robust, world-class language solutions.

    Danbom: How do you stay ahead of others in the
    buzzword industry?
    Lingua: Net-net, my value proposition is based on
    maximizing synergies and being first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable. That's the opportunity space on a level playing field.

    Danbom: Does everyone in business eventually devolve into the sort of mindless drivel you spout?
    Lingua: If you walk like a duck and talk like a duck, you're a duck. They all drink the Kool- Aid.

    Danbom: Do you read "Dilbert" in the newspaper?
    Lingua: My knowledge base is deselective of fiber

    Danbom: Does that mean "no"?
    Lingua: Negative.

    Danbom: DOES THAT MEAN "NO"?
    Lingua: Let's take your issues offline.

    Lingua: You have a result-driven mind-set that isn't a strategic fit with my game plan.

    Lingua: Your call is very important to me.

    Danbom: How can you live with yourself?
    Lingua: I eat my own dog food. My vision is to
    monetize scalable supply chains.

    Danbom: When are you going to quit this?
    Lingua: I may eventually exit the business to pursue other career opportunities.

    Danbom: I hate you.
    Lingua: Take it and run with it.
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Feb 24, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Re: Now, finally, you can learn how to speak and appear \"hip\" and \"with-it\"

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