Yeah like I said, worst post I've ever had to make. But if there is ever a time to hear things from the brotherhood this is it. Don't know for certain yet, but the scare is there. Slept with a chick a few weeks ago, no protection, spur of the moment thing, ****ing retarded. I don't care about her as more than a friend, she has feelings for me but not in love with me or anything. Just a loss of control, RETARDED thing. Shes 2 weeks late, which is the exact like.... day we were together. Well whatever, pull out method, idiot. Anyway, shes completely against abortion, adoption, etc, and I can fully support that, but plain and simple, I make about $300 a week on a GOOD week. I will have to give up the fabrication side job, its what I want but the money won't be there. I pretty well figure I'd have to quit both jobs and go to work somewhere where the money is steadier, factory job maybe? I don't know. mind is all over the place right now. If there was ever a time for my depressive nature to kick back in, this is it. Oh yeah, it already has. **** YES! This isn't the reason for my lack of posting lately, just on one of those break things. I guess there is no asking for advice here, I know what will have to happen if thats the way things go, just need to vent to SOMEONE. I hate my life sometimes. Worst of all, I know myself, I'm not good father material, I never planned to have kids, never want to. I fear what I'd do to them. I'm not a nice person overall and just don't like children at all. And having one with someone I don't love... Yea, life sucks.