Only in America

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ramjet gmc, Jan 9, 2004.

  1. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    > Fw: Only in America
    >
    > 1. Only in America......can a pizza get to
    > your house faster than an ambulance.
    >
    > >2. Only in America......are there
    > handicap parking places in front of a
    > skating rink.
    >
    > >3. Only in America......do drugstores
    > make the sick walk all the way to the
    > back of the store to get their
    > prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
    >
    > >4. Only in America......do people order
    > double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    > and a diet coke.
    >
    > >5. Only in America......do banks leave
    > both doors open and then chain the
    > pens to the counters.
    >
    > >6. Only in America......do we leave cars
    > worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the
    > garage.
    >
    > >7. Only in America......do we use
    > answering machines to screen calls and
    > then have call waiting so we won't miss a
    > call from someone we didn't want
    > to talk to in the first place.
    >
    > >8. Only in America......do we buy hot
    > dogs in packages of ten and buns in
    > packages of eight.
    >
    > >9. Only in America......do we use the
    > word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin
    > meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
    >
    > >10. Only in America......do they have
    > drive-up ATM machines with Braille
    > lettering.
    >
    > EVER WONDER
    >
    > >Why the sun lightens our hair, but
    > darkens our skin?
    >
    > >Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    >
    > >Why don't you ever see the headline
    > "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    >
    > >Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
    > Why is it that doctors call what they do
    > "practice"?
    >
    > >Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
    > have to click on "Start"?
    >
    > >Why is lemon juice made with artificial
    > flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
    > with real lemons?
    >
    > >Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    >
    > >Why is the time of day with the slowest
    > traffic called rush hour?
    >
    > >Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    >
    > >When dog food is new and improved
    > tasting, who tests it?
    >
    > >Why didn't Noah swat those two
    > mosquitoes?
    >
    > >Why do they sterilize the needle for
    > lethal injections?
    >
    > >You know that indestructible black box
    > that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    > they make the whole plane out of that
    > stuff?
    >
    > >Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    >
    > >Why are they called apartments when
    > they are all stuck together?
    >
    > >If con is the opposite of pro, is
    > Congress the opposite of progress?
    >
    > >If flying is so safe, why do they call
    > the airport the terminal?
    >
    >
    > >Now that you've smiled at least once,
    > it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you
    > want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words,
    > send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.


    /forums/images/graemlins/usaflag.gif well i still love this place /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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  4. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    Here is my repost to your repost...

    [ QUOTE ]
    You know that indestructible black box
    > that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    > they make the whole plane out of that
    > stuff?


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Because the plane would be to heavy to get off the ground...
     
  5. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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  6. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Here is my repost to your repost...

    [ QUOTE ]
    You know that indestructible black box
    > that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    > they make the whole plane out of that
    > stuff?


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Because the plane would be to heavy to get off the ground...

    [/ QUOTE ]

    i thought it may have made tre rounds but i could not recall seeing but it still made me /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. clubba68

    clubba68 1/2 ton status

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  8. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  9. one ton burb

    one ton burb 1/2 ton status

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  10. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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