Our own Bubba was chosen to help out Santa!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by zakk, Nov 28, 2002.

  1. zakk

    zakk 1/2 ton status

    Sep 21, 2001
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    San Jose CA
    **the following was an e-mail from Santa**


    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,
    I will no longer
    serve the states of Georgia, Florida, Virginia,
    North and South
    Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and
    Arkansas on Christmas Eve.
    Due to the overwhelming current population of the
    earth, my contract was
    renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves
    Local 209. As part of
    the new and better contract I also get longer breaks
    for milk and
    cookies so keep that in mind.

    However, I'm certain that your children will be in
    good hands with your
    local replacement, who happens to be my third
    cousin, Bubba Claus. His
    side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares
    my goal of
    delivering toys to all the good boys and girls;
    however, there are a few
    differences between us.

    Differences such as:

    1) There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your
    presents from Bubba
    Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper
    sticker that reads:
    "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

    2) Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers
    that children leave
    an RC cola and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the
    fireplace. And Bubba
    doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though,
    so please have an
    empty spit can handy.

    3) Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared,
    flyin' coon dogs
    instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning
    him a couple of my
    reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks
    Bubba's fireplace.

    4) You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and
    Blitzen.." when
    Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On
    Earnhardt, on Andretti,
    on Elliott and Petty."

    5) "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by, "Yee Haw!"
    And you also are
    likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

    6) As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba
    Claus' sleigh does have a
    Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the
    words, "Back Off."

    7) The usual Christmas movie classics such as
    "Miracle on 34th Street"
    and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in
    your negotiated viewing
    area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves
    Christmas" and "Smokey and
    the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba
    Claus and dozens of
    state patrol cars crashing into each other.

    And Finally,

    8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you,
    I'd make sure you,
    the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he
    bends over to put
    presents under the tree.

    Sincerely Yours,

    Santa Claus
  2. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

    Jan 21, 2001
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    Undisclosed Location
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  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Nov 6, 2000
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    portland oregon
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  4. reddog64

    reddog64 1/2 ton status

    Nov 9, 2000
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    Federal Way, Washington
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