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political science for dummies

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 76zimmer, May 6, 2007.

  1. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Political Science for Dummies

    DEMOCRATIC

    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    Barbara Streisand sings for you. [​IMG]

    REPUBLICAN
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?[​IMG]

    SOCIALIST You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

    COMMUNIST
    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.

    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

    AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.[​IMG] [​IMG]

    FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good.

    JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
    Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

    GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
    Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

    ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.


    BELGIAN CORPORATION
    You have one cow.
    The cow is schizophrenic.
    Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
    The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
    The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
    The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
    The cow dies happy.

    A 2006 study

    A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

    Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.

    That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon."

    Not Bad [​IMG]
     
  2. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    Pretty funny!
     
  3. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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  4. burban89

    burban89 1/2 ton status

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