"Putting Out the Cat" > > A couple was dressed and ready to go out > for the evening. They turned on a night light, > turned on the phone answering machine, > covered their pet parakeet and put the cat > in the backyard. > > They phoned the local cab company and > requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the > couple opened the front door to leave their > house. The cat they had put out into the yard > scoots back into the house. > > They don't want the cat shut in the house > because she always tries to eat the bird. > The wife goes out to the taxi while the > husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat > runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. > > Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the > driver to know the house will be empty for the > night. She explains to the driver that her > husband will be out soon. "He's just going > upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." > > A few minutes later, the husband gets into > the cab."Sorry I took so long", he says as they > drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the > bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to > get her to come out! She tried to take off so I > grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap > her in a blanket to keep her from scratching > me . But it worked. I hauled her fat ass > downstairs and threw her out into the back > yard!" > > The cabdriver hit a parked car.