RJ: I can kill your entire family with a dining fork! STAVE: My biceps are so tough and sexy that anacondas in the jungle kill themselves in despair! RJ: I can punch holes in depleted uranium, and your face, and a car door, and evil, but that's figurative STAVE: Saxaphone players send me letters full of money because I rock so hard RJ: I choked some guy to death once, with my ARMPIT STAVE: My underpants sold at auction for $50,000. The girl who bought them has visions after smelling them. RJ: I invented golf before I ever existed STAVE: While you were sitting there on your ass, I invented cold fusion RJ: I can throw a football, like forever long. I threw one a year ago, it still hasn't landed STAVE: I ate a hamburger once and pooped out a COW! RJ: I ate a big pile of junk and pooped out a STAVE STAVE: I can smell time RJ: I can feel sound STAVE: I can rip up whole trees RJ: I can pee on a sapling in the morning and have a full grown shadtree by noon STAVE: I can swallow running chainsaws RJ: I didn't need Klatu Veratu Nictu, I just punched the book in the face STAVE: I've seen every boob ever RJ: I can make great pizza STAVE: I can sew better than your mom RJ: I can kick a soccerball so hard it implodes and creates a black hole STAVE: I can balance a cup of water on my head RJ: That is such a lie!