A big old redneck walks into his local bar with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman. "Well, I'll tell you," he replies. "You know I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky slob. Was she pretty?" "Dunno....never found her head....."