Some funny stuff......may or may not be a repost, but who cares?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Feb 22, 2004.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Jan 12, 2001
    Likes Received:
    An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains
    >of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I
    >have a dead pussy." The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind
    >him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
    >After a year at sea, a sailor comes ashore, gets
    >drunk, and runs to a brothel.
    >The old madam says, "All my girls are busy,
    >but I'll take care of you."
    >He says, "I'm desperate, so you'll do."
    >They go into a room, and after a while, the
    >madam says, "I may have winter in my hair,
    >but I've got summer in my heart!"
    >The sailor says, "Yeah, well, if you don't get
    >a little more spring in your ass, we're gonna
    >be here 'til Fall."
    >Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man
    >to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors,
    >gynaecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there's a
    >guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out
    >of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, throat doctor,
    >gynaecologist, or proctologist can't help you, he sends you to a
    >surgeon. Why? So he can make a new hole!
    >A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the
    >Olympic Gold medal.
    >Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and
    >said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.
    >He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has, whatever
    >you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished!"
    >The wrestler nodded in acknowledgment. As the match started, the American
    >and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening.
    >All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and
    >wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.
    >A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his
    >face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the
    >inevitable happen. Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the
    >crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian
    >go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the
    >American collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.
    >The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone,
    >He asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it
    >The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in
    >that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of
    >testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could."
    >So, the trainer exclaimed, "That's what finished him off!"
    >"Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get
    >when you bite your own balls!"
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Jun 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Salem, Or.
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