Man, where do I start? Last Wednesday I got a call at work saying a friend of mine rolled her truck the night before, broke her neck and died. I didn't say much to anybody, just dealt with it. I learned more from my friends on Wednesday...apparently a girl called my friend's cell phone and told her that her boyfriend (also a friend of mine) didn't want her anymore and that they were screwing around right then. Jess (the one who rolled her truck) went out and got drunk that night, and was trying to drive home. A trucker swerved a little bit (by his own account) and she over-reacted and the **** hit the fan. The autopsy revealed that she broke her neck, suffered massive head trauma and intercranial bleeding, and most importantly had lots of alcohol in her system. I went to the wake Friday night, shook the parent's hands, tried to bite my lip because I refuse to cry in front of people. I then proceeded to go to another friends to party and get hammered out of my mind to try and forget about it. It worked for the night, I came home yesterday morning and pulled myself together and went to the funeral. So I went, shook hands again, felt empathy for parents and relatives who were still in the first stage of denial, and managed to get out to my truck afterwards before I broke down. Last night I pulled the same ****, went out to try and kill enough brain cells to forget about it. It worked for about an hour. My phone started ringing and it was a number I didn't recognize. I picked up and the voice at the other end was the same dreadful monotonous tone as the one who told me about Jess. Her boyfriend Jake went home after the funeral and shot himself. Left a note saying he couldn't live knowing that he contributed to the death of Jess. I don't know how to deal with this, both were good people, and now both are gone. I'm angry at this girl who called Jess, I'm angry at Jake even though he shot himself over the guilt, and most of all I'm angry at Jess for driving like that even though none of these feelings do any good. I guess the only thing I can be grateful for is that Jess didn't hurt anybody on the road that night but herself. I guess if anybody takes anything from this, don't drink and drive, two of my friends are gone because of it, and I just don't know how to deal.