The Diary of a Cat

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jul 17, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
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    >DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
    >objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
    >cereal. The only thing that keeps me
    >going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
    >the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
    >DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
    >while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
    >stairs. In an attempt to
    >disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
    >vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
    >DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
    >depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
    >DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
    >to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
    >their hearts.
    >They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was
    >Not working according to plan ......
    >DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason
    >was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
    >foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
    >My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
    >DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
    >placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
    >smell the foul odor of the
    >glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my
    >confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
    >how to use it to my advantage.
    >DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
    >The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
    >obviously a half-wit. The Bird
    >on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their
    >frightful tongue something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them
    >regularly. I am certain he reports my every
    >move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
    >But I can wait, it is only a matter of time. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif
  2. FL84K5

    FL84K5 1/2 ton status

    Aug 19, 2001
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    Sarasota, FL
    I read that a few monthes ago in another forum. Its hilarious. LOL
  3. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

    Sep 9, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Mineral Springs, NC
    Give it time, Bubba Ray wil transform himself into a cat, and right another great story. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

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