So here it all is, there's this cute older gal down in Space 45, her name is Bertha Fay. I reside in Space 43, so we see each other quite often. Here's my dilema, I've been wanting to date ole Bertha Fay for awhile, but I ain't got the gumption to ask her out to The Waffle House. First off, she's an older woman and I know she's experienced. In fact my Uncle Bob, he's my father's older brother, he was in some far away country named The Nam and he gets wierd everyso often was caught with Bertha Fay in his old Dodge truck just last weekend back behind the Shoney's where she waitresses by the cops and they were nekkid, well that's what the guys down at the filling station tell me. But that's not all. Billy Ray down at the House of Parts Wrecking Yard was just telling me that he had to go down to that there free clinic a couple of days after he dated her. He said he was having problems with "it" burning when he had to go to the john. Should I be worried? Bertha Fay has even claimed to of been around the world with all the married men over in the Wildflower Trailer Park across the highway from us. I don't know. I really want to go out with her. I mean come on people, don't those spandex pants and pink shoes turn y'all on? Can y'all experts on women tell me how I should approach my problem and how I should ask her out? Just one thing, don't tell me to call her on the phone, she doesn't have one, but she does have a pager.