Once upon a time, there was a Pirate Captain. He was the most successful pirate captain ever. He had lead his ship and crew throughout the world killing and pillaging. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his first mate approached him. "Sir," said the first mate. "I've noticed that in every battle we've been in, you've ordered someone to get your red shirt. And in every battle, you've worn the same red shirt. Why Sir?" The pirate captain stood silent for a moment, taking in the aroma of the sea. "First mate," replied the pirate captain. "I wear that red shirt in battle because if I was to ever get shot by musket or sliced by sword, I don't want my crew to see the blood and get discouraged. I want my crew to fight to the death." The first mate pondered this revelation and walked off. A few hours later, the pirate captain and first mate were standing next to each other when the lookup bellowed, "8 Spanish Galleons, full sail, coming our way." The pirate captain turned to his first mate. "First mate, get my brown pants."