Potty-mouth man can't fool science By IAN ROBERTSON, TORONTO SUN An allegedly drunk driver with a taste for trickery failed to foil a police breathalyzer machine after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," South Simcoe Police Insp. Tom McDonald said. "I've never heard of anything like this before," the 28-year veteran said. Arrested Sunday after his Ford pickup truck was pulled over on Hwy. 11 in Stroud, the 59-year-old driver was loaded into a cruiser and taken to a South Simcoe Police station for testing. En route, Sgt. James Buchanan said, the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the squad car. At the station the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine," he said. It didn't work, Buchanan said. The machine registered two readings of more than twice the legal blood alcohol limit. The man was charged with impaired driving and driving over the limit and was released on a promise to appear in a Bradford court on May 12.