Funnies of the Day - May 27, 2002

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 27, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
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    One Fine Day In Ireland

    Rated PG-13

    One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th
    hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods
    on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes
    across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball
    lying right beside him.

    "Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy.
    Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and
    square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man
    says, "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too
    badly," and walks away.

    Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice
    enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll
    give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money,
    a great golf game, and a great sex life."

    Well, a year goes past and the same golfer is out golfing on the same
    course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods
    and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball, he sees the
    same little guy and asks how he is doing.

    The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?"
    The golfer says, "It's great! I hit under par every time." The leprechaun
    says, "I did that for you. Might I ask how your money is holding out?"

    The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my
    hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill." The leprechaun
    smiles and says, "I did that for you, too. And might I ask how your sex
    life is?"

    The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or
    twice a week." The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Once or twice
    a week? Is that all?!" The golfer looks at him and says, "Well, that's not
    too bad for a horny priest in a small parish!"

    Image of the Day - May 27, 2002
    Redneck Olympics
    Rated G QUICKIES - Rated G

    Why did they invent white chocolate?
    So little black kids can get messy too.

    Program File of the Day - May 27, 2002: Horny José
    Rated R EXE 86KB
    Find out what Horny José does when he is stuck in th desert with no
    A Exclusive.

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