Why, damn it? Who woulda thunk it? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"? Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look you know where anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! And they think Goofy is the stupid one!!! If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure.