Wife 1.0 Just Released

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by schwinnd, May 18, 2002.

  1. schwinnd

    schwinnd 1/2 ton status

    Feb 26, 2001
    Likes Received:
    SE Washington
    Wife 1.0 Just Released:

    Dear Tech Support,
    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new
    program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and
    valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product
    brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
    launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system
    activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Saturday Bike Ride 2.5, and
    Sunday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I
    cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some
    of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend
    7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you please help


    A Troubled User


    Dear Troubled User,
    This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary
    misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
    that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
    OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is unlikely
    you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
    Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
    Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
    the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
    Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to
    install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original
    system. Look in your manual under "Warnings - Alimony/Child Support". I
    recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation. I suggest installing
    background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation.
    Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
    section regarding "General Partnership Faults (GPF's). You must assume all
    responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
    cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In
    any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to
    give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.
    The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPF's.
    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
    additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
    Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary
    with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a support application for Wife 1.0 and is
    likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,

    Tech Support
  2. sapper

    sapper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 11, 2001
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  3. Djroffroad

    Djroffroad 1/2 ton status

    Mar 19, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Portland, Oregon
    Mines telling me to enter the c:\doghouse command......

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