Diodes die from a couple of reasons.
Too high reverse voltage:
This usually occurs when you hook up a set of jumper cables backwards, which often gets other things too.
Too much current for the guts of the diode:
This is mostly unrelated to heat. The conductors and junction size are just too small and melt from the current.
And too much heat:
Diodes drop about .7volts per junction as the turn-on voltage. This generates heat. So, the bigger the rating of the isolator, the heavier the internal diodes, and the bigger the heat sink which keeps them cool.
So, if you have a 90 amp rated isolator, and a 90 amp alternator, then in theory all is well.
Even if the battery was dead and the alternator was putting out full current, then it should handle it since it was rated for it.
But, that design was made with certain conditions in mind. Air temp, that sort of thing.
And it was made as cheap as possible.
Its been a long time since I blew my isolator. I was always pretty sure it happened jumping off a completely dead battery.
I bypassed it until I could get a new one.
But, being an electronics engineer, I took the old one apart for fun. I don't remember the exact numbers, but the diodes were not rated as high as the isolator was.
I'm sure they figured one single diode would never see the whole output of the alternator, so it would work.
Seems like it was a 90 amp isolator with 60 amp diodes, but its been a long time.
But, 100 amp diodes were the same size, and cheaper than a new isolator. So, I just bought two and pressed them in.
Ran that truck for many years longer, never had any problems again.
So, I would oversize the isolator, and it should do fine. Just be sure to mount it as far away from heat as you can, and in a good airflow if possible.
I mounted mine on a fender under the hood on a thick aluminum plate, but that was just my normal overkill.
The relay setups do just fine, and eliminate the .7 volt drop. I personally like the solid state idea better, and there is no sudden load switching.
But lots of folks here run them and have no problems.
My only problem with some of them, is the undervoltage lockout. It would not let the alternator charge a completely dead battery, such as when you left the lights on all night.
But, I'm not sure if all of them have that, and it would be fairly simple to rig a bypass for those rare occasions.