I do not know exactly what makes header bolts back out, but I haven't had that problem with mine. I somewhat suspect this depends on how well supported your exhaust is after the headers, you get a lot of leverage with the length of the exhaust system if it's not supported like the factory did.
I'm running hedman elites, I fully expected to have to replace the bolts that came with the headers, but I haven't had cause to. I've gone back to check tightness a few times, and they have never been looser than when I installed them.
On recommendation from others here, I used the metal clad (normal) manifold gaskets (fel pro IIRC) and those haven't leaked or caused any problems either.
It's not like its tough to go back in and swap the bolts if you DO have problems, as long as you get some with the headers, try those and see if they hold up first. That's my opinion anyways.