Executioner
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- Feb 22, 2000
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little OT, but funny:
> This is priceless - well worth taking a moment or two
> > to read it. The following is a genuine hoot. This was
> > an actual letter sent to Ryan De Vries from The Michigan
> > Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
> > Wait till you read this guy's response - but read the
> > entire letter before you get to the response.
> >
> > Mr. Ryan De Vries
> > 2088 Dagget
> > Pierson, MI 49339
> >
> > Dear Mr. De Vries:
> >
> > SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
> > Montcalm County
> >
> > It has come to the attention of the Department of
> > Environmental Quality that there has been recent
> > unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
> > of property. You have been certified as the legal
> > landowner and/or contractor who did the following
> > unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance
> > of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of
> > Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start
> > of this type of activity.
> >
> > A review of the Department's files shows that no
> > permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
> > determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301,
> > Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
> > Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
> > of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
> > Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> > The Department has been informed that one or both of the
> > dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing
> > debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that
> > dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
> > permitted.
> >
> > The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist
> > all activities at this location, and to restore the stream
> > to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush
> > forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration
> > work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.
> >
> > Please notify this office when the restoration has been
> > completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be
> > scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request
> > or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
> > result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
> > action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
> > cooperation in this matter.
> >
> > Please feel free to contact me at this office if you
> > have any questions.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > David L. Price
> > District Representative
> > Land and Water Management Division
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > RESPONSE
> >
> > Dear Mr. Price:
> > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
> > Montcalm County
> >
> > Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed
> > to me to respond to.
> >
> > First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner
> > and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am
> > the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the
> > (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining
> > two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
> > Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
> > their dam project, I think they would be highly offended
> > that you call their skillful use of natural building
> > materials "debris."
> >
> > I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
> > emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you
> > choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you
> > could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
> > their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
> > determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your
> > request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
> > first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type
> > of dam activity.
> >
> > My first dam question to you is:
> >
> > 1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond
> > Beavers or
> >
> > 2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to
> > conform to said dam request?
> >
> > If you are not discriminating against these particular
> > beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act I request
> > completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam
> > permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
> > there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
> > and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
> > Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
> > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan &nb! sp;
> > Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> > I have several concerns: My first concern is - aren't the
> > beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond
> > Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay
> > for said representation - so the State will have to provide
> > them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
> > either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain
> > event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural
> > occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
> >
> > In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers
> > alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam
> > names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow
> > condition - please contact the beavers - but if you are
> > going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any
> > attention to your dam letter being unable to read English)
> > --be sure they are read the Miranda rights first. As for me,
> > I am not going to cause more flooding or dam debris jams
> > by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt
> > these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your
> > dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam department
> > seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous
> > and truly will not permit their existence in this State, I
> > seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam
> > policy or once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I
> > will scream prejudice!
> >
> > In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right
> > to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue,
> > the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have
> > more dam right than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If
> > the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
> > Quality lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
> > resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
> >
> > So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case
> > can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
> > now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be
> > under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
> > your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
> >
> > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
> > environmental
> > quality (health) problem in the area. It is
> > the bears. Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I
> > definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating
> > bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to
> > investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are
> > not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with
> > your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your
> > dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your
> > day office via another government organization - the dam
> > USPS. Maybe, someday, it will get there.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> >
> > Stephen L. Tvedten
> This is priceless - well worth taking a moment or two
> > to read it. The following is a genuine hoot. This was
> > an actual letter sent to Ryan De Vries from The Michigan
> > Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
> > Wait till you read this guy's response - but read the
> > entire letter before you get to the response.
> >
> > Mr. Ryan De Vries
> > 2088 Dagget
> > Pierson, MI 49339
> >
> > Dear Mr. De Vries:
> >
> > SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
> > Montcalm County
> >
> > It has come to the attention of the Department of
> > Environmental Quality that there has been recent
> > unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
> > of property. You have been certified as the legal
> > landowner and/or contractor who did the following
> > unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance
> > of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of
> > Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start
> > of this type of activity.
> >
> > A review of the Department's files shows that no
> > permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
> > determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301,
> > Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
> > Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
> > of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
> > Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> > The Department has been informed that one or both of the
> > dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing
> > debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that
> > dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
> > permitted.
> >
> > The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist
> > all activities at this location, and to restore the stream
> > to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush
> > forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration
> > work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.
> >
> > Please notify this office when the restoration has been
> > completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be
> > scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request
> > or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
> > result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
> > action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
> > cooperation in this matter.
> >
> > Please feel free to contact me at this office if you
> > have any questions.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> > David L. Price
> > District Representative
> > Land and Water Management Division
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > RESPONSE
> >
> > Dear Mr. Price:
> > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
> > Montcalm County
> >
> > Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed
> > to me to respond to.
> >
> > First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner
> > and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am
> > the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the
> > (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining
> > two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
> > Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
> > their dam project, I think they would be highly offended
> > that you call their skillful use of natural building
> > materials "debris."
> >
> > I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
> > emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you
> > choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you
> > could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
> > their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
> > determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your
> > request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
> > first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type
> > of dam activity.
> >
> > My first dam question to you is:
> >
> > 1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond
> > Beavers or
> >
> > 2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to
> > conform to said dam request?
> >
> > If you are not discriminating against these particular
> > beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act I request
> > completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam
> > permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
> > there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
> > and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
> > Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
> > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan &nb! sp;
> > Compiled Laws, annotated.
> >
> > I have several concerns: My first concern is - aren't the
> > beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond
> > Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay
> > for said representation - so the State will have to provide
> > them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
> > either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain
> > event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural
> > occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
> >
> > In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers
> > alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam
> > names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow
> > condition - please contact the beavers - but if you are
> > going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any
> > attention to your dam letter being unable to read English)
> > --be sure they are read the Miranda rights first. As for me,
> > I am not going to cause more flooding or dam debris jams
> > by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt
> > these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your
> > dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam department
> > seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous
> > and truly will not permit their existence in this State, I
> > seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam
> > policy or once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I
> > will scream prejudice!
> >
> > In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right
> > to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue,
> > the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have
> > more dam right than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If
> > the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
> > Quality lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
> > resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
> >
> > So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case
> > can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
> > now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be
> > under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
> > your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
> >
> > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
> > environmental
> > quality (health) problem in the area. It is
> > the bears. Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I
> > definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating
> > bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to
> > investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are
> > not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with
> > your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your
> > dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your
> > day office via another government organization - the dam
> > USPS. Maybe, someday, it will get there.
> >
> > Sincerely,
> >
> > Stephen L. Tvedten
