The problem with ether is that no matter how you do it, you always risk melting the glue that bonds the metal insert to the rubber of the valve stem. If you do that, you're stuck hi-lifting the damn bead back off, plugging a new stem through, and doing it over again.
There's always the issue of
pyrolysis too.
A bicycle inner tube, ratchet strap, and an extra pair of hands is easier in practice anyway 99% of the time because it's more consistent and reliable. I only ever resort to ether on something really irritating like a bias ply that has sat on its side for a long time, and you don't have time to wedge the beads to make them take a set further apart.
If a guy has a little 5 gal. air tank from walmart, even a cheap cig. plug compressor, and a ratchet strap...well that's really about the extent of what I use when I mount my own tires in my garage. I can mount two of my 40s (and that's from a bare rim i.e. both beads) without having to refill that tank. Actually, my compressor is only like 3.8 gallons, so it's even less.
I'm not sure grease is the greatest idea for sealing the bead while your setting it. It's just going to stay there and lubricate things so that it comes off easier when you start wheeling again. Dish soap works really well for a lubricant while you're seating, and it dries up afterward, and it won't break down the rubber of the tire. It's not viscous enough to seal though. That's where the inner tube comes in handy. But really, it's very rare that I need to seal it because I jam a wrench or 2x4 or something in the beads to stretch the tire out. Then if you have to, you can cinch a ratchet strap around the tire and you can also maneuver the rim inside the tire to help it seal too.
I was reading a thread on Pirate a while back about people using weatherstrip adhesive on the beads to help hold it on the rim. Seemed like maybe the people having success were just being more careful about sidehilling and such....but I keep meaning to try. Most of the time when I debead I hear them whistling little bits of air out first. I think I'm just losing the last 5psi and then once they're totally flat it doesn't take much to push them off there. Maybe the weatherstrip adhesive would just help keep seal up any small cracks, kinda like pump seals on autos. It is pretty elastic stuff.
3400psi pressure washer will get most anything off. 
Not to mention a hammer to smash a short piece of exhaust pipe with. I mean, I'm not sure the last time I even saw a hammer for sale. I think they're special order these days.
