When doing initial setup, I just put some preload on the pinion bearings (i have done it enough that I know about how much it needs. When doing final assembly, I ALWAYS use an inch-pound torque wrench and would recommend that everyone else do the same. If you have it too tight, your diff will run very hot and you run the risk of boiling/burning the fluid and ruining everything. If you have the preload too loose your bearings will not last long.
Your pattern might be ok. The drive side is more important to me than the coast. Post a picture of that.