Any automatic transmission with no load on the output will spin the output shaft in neutral.
The only way gears can grind, is if they are moving.
The only thing that can move the gears, is either the transmission, or the wheels.
So, if you are in park, and the truck is not moving, then the gears should not grind no matter how slow or fast you shift.
The best way to shift into 4Lo, is to stop the truck, put the transmission in park, foot on the brake and shift.
However, there is often a problem with this. If you are stopped under a load, such as a hill, and the parking pawl is holding the truck, then you are going to have trouble getting the transfer case out of Hi.
In that case, you need to stop the truck with the brakes, shift the transmission into neutral, wait a second, and then into park without releasing the brakes. Then the transfer case should shift fine.
One thing you should not do, is shift the transfer case into neutral with the transmission in neutral with the engine running and then try to shift into park.
That is not good on the parking pawl. if you find yourself in that fix, the best thing to do is turn off the engine, shift into park, and restart.
Anytime you hear gears grinding, it is not good. Its just that there are different degrees of bad.
J.