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how not to port and polish, link to original thread

smalltowncowboy

smalltowncowboy

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this is hilarious

heres the original link, you have to read his other 2 posts in there.

http://www.audiforums.com/m_693578/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.
I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.
 
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Is that for real????:eek1::eek1::eek1::haha::haha::haha:
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nobody is that stupid....are they?

my freshman year of college, a few guys built a 350 in their 4th floor dorm room. going up, the block was the only part that took two people to carry. i guess they didn't think about it weighing 600lbs when everything was together. they tried using about 6 guys to do carry it downstairs. not enough room for everyone to get a good hold. eventually, they put down plywood and rolled it down on the stand, using ropes to control it. they dented a few walls on the way down.

that's not even close to as stupid as dumping sand into an engine
 
vortec said:
nobody is that stupid....are they?

my freshman year of college, a few guys built a 350 in their 4th floor dorm room. going up, the block was the only part that took two people to carry. i guess they didn't think about it weighing 600lbs when everything was together. they tried using about 6 guys to do carry it downstairs. not enough room for everyone to get a good hold. eventually, they put down plywood and rolled it down on the stand, using ropes to control it. they dented a few walls on the way down.

that's not even close to as stupid as dumping sand into an engine
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OMG i have a friend that did that. He rebuilt an engine in his room fully dressed. when he was all done he was like how do i get it out???? But he had to take the dam thing apart. to get it out. :haha::haha::haha:
 
I went to high school with a girl that got herself a new red sports car. She was so proud of it that she got up early Saturday morning and washed it with a SOS pad!
 
LOL. Thats great if it really is true. Where'd that come from?
 
Don't forget the legend of the guy doing his first oil change on his brand new car. He was too impatient to wait for all the old oil to drip out by itself so he pulled the drain plug and revved it up to help pump all the old oil out.
 
sadly, i know two people who've done stuff almost as dumb and even dumber. my junior year of college, i taught a friend how to change his oil. he had a 93 c1500 and i had a 94, so i showed him step by step when i did mine. the next day, i came home from class, and there was a huge puddle of oil forming under his truck...as he kept pouring oil in. drain plug, man! at least he remembered to put his 710 cap back on when he was done.

a guy who's been one of my best friends for about 12 years really did a few bonehead things. first, he drove over 200 miles to hang with me at college with less than 2 quarts of oil in his 92 c1500 (that 4.3L was tough). it was insanely hot when he got there. then, a few years after i graduated, he was changing his wife's tranny fluid, wanted to move the truck (tacoma) and called me when it wouldn't go into gear. after i told him that with half the fluid gone, it probably wouldn't shift, he was embarrassed. it's pretty cool that the pan had a drain plug, though. i wish my 4l60e and 700r4 had that.
 
Blazin'4x4 said:
How about atf in the engine. Smoked the rings instantly. Never seen so much smoke!
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Really? I've run seen people run a quart of ATF and the remainder oil to clean out the sludge in the motor. I've heard of people running straight ATF, kerosene or diesel for a short time (~20 minutes) to clean out the motor. No smoke and no damage that I've ever heard of :confused:
 
38377k5 said:
Really? I've run seen people run a quart of ATF and the remainder oil to clean out the sludge in the motor. I've heard of people running straight ATF, kerosene or diesel for a short time (~20 minutes) to clean out the motor. No smoke and no damage that I've ever heard of :confused:
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I've also heard that
 
38377k5 said:
Really? I've run seen people run a quart of ATF and the remainder oil to clean out the sludge in the motor. I've heard of people running straight ATF, kerosene or diesel for a short time (~20 minutes) to clean out the motor. No smoke and no damage that I've ever heard of :confused:
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My high school auto teacher told me about that too with the kerosene.
 
I had a motor with a hole in a piston. I used whatever I had to get that thing from point A to point B a couple of times. Used motor oil, gear oil, ATF, whatever I had that was a fluid not water. :) Dunno what the bearings or other cylinders looked like when I was done, but other than the smoke it ran pretty good lol. Probably got at least 200 miles on it like that. Replaced before it had a chance to give up. It was difficult to drive laughing that hard.

Friends sister got a brand new GM crate 350, (installed by GM) and apparently just added a quart of oil everytime she got gas, never checking the dipstick. Didn't take too long before the engine destroyed itself. Amazingly enough, GM replaced it under warranty.
 
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