I'm afraid I've got to disagree with most every one of you.
You don't want it to get too hot, but you also need to get it hot enough at a minimum to boil out any condensed water. IIRC, 180-200* or so is a good temp over all.
Running it through the aux cooler, then into the radiator is the best scenario. The aux cooler helps shed extra heat before hitting the radiator, then the radiator fluid-to-fluid pulls out any remaining heat, or may even add some back (cooling the motor) depending on ambient temp and usage. But since the coolant in the radiator should rarely be outside the proper temp range for the trans, it's a good stabilizer for the system. If the water temp is much over 200, you have other issues that need to be dealt with, and if the trans fluid is still over the water temp *for any reason* after coming out of the aux cooler the radiator will pull out more heat. Assuming a proper fan shroud, this also eliminates "not enough air flow" problems some have mentioned.
Frankly, for a general purpose year round vehicle, splitting the systems has a number of problems including potential temps too low AND too high. There is just no good reason to split the system, so why do it? All you are after is helping get rid of excess heat build up caused by long term slipping the converter off-road, or even on road when dealing with big tires combined with often too high gearing.