If the trans isn't doing anything crazy I would gauge the need for a rebuild on looking at the crap in the bottom of the pan, not this one code.
The p0802 code is not a generic code. It is for the TCM is requesting the check engine light. However if there are no actual codes set in the TCM, that one circuit could be shorted to power.
Normally if there were transmission codes set you would have a P0700 in the PCM. Not the code you got.
The gist of the diag is looking for power on that circuit with the TCM unplugged. I can shoot that over tonight, but it shouldn't be an issue to drive it other than it's kicking the light on.
The burnt valve deal sucks. I'd be torn on just pulling the heads and going through the valves vs full on rebuild. With the right maintenance they were supposed to have a 250k life expectancy. Again provided the maintenance got done right is the key.
I'd pull the heads and if the cylinders look good, no ridge and possibly still has cross-hatching on the walls I'd go after the heads. If the cylinders are scuffed up and show obvious signs of wear that would change my mind.
What kind of oil pressure is it holding hot? That would have some bearing (pun intended) on the rebuild debate.